School Update

It’s spring break which means I can finally come up for a breath and reflect on what’s been going on. Going back to school has been tough, time consuming, enlightening, and interesting. But not very enjoyable.

I last went to college in 1996. Since then, things have, um, changed. If you wore headphones in public twenty years ago, you were square. Now everyone does. Computers were mostly used in labs and laptops were rare and not allowed in class. Citing the internet would get you laughed at. In general, students treated professors with more respect. I’ve been surprised by the amount of arguing, talking, phone using, tardiness, and leaving early the students do. The older the students are, the less this behavior is evident. So it doesn’t happen nearly as much is my senior level classes. I guess the students either mature or leave.

For the most part, the students have shown no interest in my disability. I’m stared at a lot but rarely asked questions. One class took us on a surprise field trip to a garden on campus. I quickly fell behind. In a class of over 70 students, only one noticed, or cared  notice, and came back to help me catch up. I will say, I’ve gotten to know my lab partners pretty well and they’re nice, smart and friendly. They’re all surprised when they find out my age. They mostly assume I’m around 30. 

This is my first time being a disabled student. I get caught in some tough situation. Professors like to use Powerpoints with the lights off, which makes it impossible for me to take notes. Or an open note quiz is really a reading test for me because I can only see one word for every five a normal person can. Open note quizzes are just quizzes for me. When I have time to do assignments, papers or projects, I usually do pretty well. 

Personally, I’m not as fast as I was twenty years ago. I make up for that, I think, with better attention to detail, organization and commitment. Because I transferred in with a degree, I’m taking only major classes, all science. When the labs are added, I’m in class about 20 hours a week. Any one or two classes might have been alright but together their almost too much. Add the time out of class for projects and studying and I’m probably doing 50 - 60 hours of work a week. Most students could probably do it quicker, I just don’t read that fast anymore. I have no idea how my classmates maintain their social lives while being full time.

The professors. Not sure how honest I want to be in this space. They’re smart and generally helpful. I think I’m older than half of them. I have been surprised at how much I have to connect the dots in some classes. There isn’t always a clear narrative between instruction and assignments or tests. This type of behavior wouldn’t cut it in the corporate world I came out of.

I will say that the science I’ve been learning has actually been changing my perspective and helping me see the world in ways I never have. That’s the point of education, or it should be. I hope all the stress I’m under is worth it. I’m not sure how long I can keep up the pace as a full time student. I might need to rethink my approach, slowdown. I want to enjoy this process as well as learn from it.