Clear As Mud

The world of SSDI and Long Term Disability is murky. The only way I've been able to figure it out is to live it. I spent much of the past twenty years in project management and it's very frustrating how complicated this system is. It resists understanding because the insurance companies involved don't want anyone to understand the system. Neither do the lawyers. Their incentives are to hide information.

The situation I'm in now has so far resisted understanding without doing. I am currently on SSDI from the government. That's great news. I'm also on LTD from my employer's disability insurance company. The two provide me with 60% of my former salary. I worked for my employer for 14 years and left them on good terms.

Since I went out on disability three years ago, my LTD insurance company has been pushing me to get an evaluation for vocational rehab. They've made it clear they'd be happy if I did any job. I worked as an IT manager. They'd be fine if I worked at Wal-Mart or Taco Bell. If I understand them correctly, they're trying to make me feel so insulted that I'd walk before I took a job like that.  Meanwhile, I am a stay at home Dad and don't want to leave my kids for minimum wage.

So we're in a position of trying to out maneuver each other. They've forced my hand and now I'm going to my state's vocational rehab center for the blind and visually impaired. Fine. Here are the question I can't figure out:

1) Can my LTD company make me take a job above the SSDI threshold? Can they make me lose my SSDI?

2)If I get a job that pays below the SSDI cutoff, do they then cut my LTD benefits by the amount I'll make?

3)What level of income (below SSDI threshold) is acceptable? Do I have to max out my earnings? 

So far this is clear as mud. And stressful as hell.